Why You Need To Be Vulnerable

Take off your mask and show your true self.

Photo by Ahmed Zayan on Unsplash

I used to be scared of vulnerability. It never appealed to me much.

It felt too risky, an easy way for me to be embarrassed.

I couldn’t imagine opening up fully to someone about my thoughts, quirks and desires. It all felt too mushy. I felt as if no one would ever truly understand me.

This was until I realised that no one will ever fully know another person.

So long as someone has never walked in your shoes, your body, and experienced things with your exact brain chemistry, there will be things about you they will never understand.

Vulnerability is the backbone of relationships. To form a genuine bond with someone, you have to put skin in the game. You both need to feel like the other person is trusting you with something dear to them. When this investment in the friendship is not made, it will yield very low dividends.

Humans are emotional beings. We need to feel something towards someone for us to grow a concrete relationship. A great musician is one who can make people feel something with his music, whether it be sorrow, joy or peace. The footballers kids (and adults) love are the ones who do tricks that make them feel amazed and get on their feet. For a relationship to thrive, you need to make someone feel something; this can only be done through vulnerability.

When you take the risk of telling someone about an issue that has been bothering you, you earn their trust because they will feel honoured that you trust them enough to share personal matters. Sticking to only shallow-level conversations with people in your life will lead to unfulfilling relationships. You could have 100 friends but if you never lean on them during tough times, you won’t feel particularly close with any of them.

There is a risk that your vulnerability might not be well-received by some people, but that is par for the course. Such people should probably not play a prominent part in your life. Get rid of them or limit your encounters with them. You don’t want to be around people who you can’t let your guard down around too often.

Developing the courage to be vulnerable is no easy task. It is much easier to conceal your true self all the time, to never let anyone into your garden. But you must remind yourself that nothing worth having ever came without a bit of work. If you practice being vulnerable with your loved ones, you will feel a closer bond.

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