The Waterfall of Relationships
It is important to know when to allow relationships to flow out of your life.
Throughout your life, you will have various relationships that will fade over time. You must know when to let certain relationships flow out of your life. Holding on to relationships that have run their course will leave you in an unfulfilled state as that relationship can no longer give you what you’re looking for.
Relationships are like waterfalls. Waterfalls start as water from high elevations that flow through mountains, breaking down rocks before falling off steep drops into a stream, evaporating into the air before returning as rain or snow. If that sounds confusing, the point is that relationships appear in your life, run their course and disappear before being replaced with new ones.
Learning to be content with yourself and trusting your judgement when it comes to friendships will allow new friendships to flow into your life. Allowing old and inert relationships to evaporate makes space for new relationships that fulfil us.
This can be a difficult way of thinking to adopt because we find it hard to give up on relationships that we have poured so much into. It is difficult to let go of a friend of 20 years that you find to be negative and no longer derive any joy from their friendship. But holding onto that relationship when you know it is a net negative in your life will lead to more hardships in the future.
The emotional impact of losing a meaningful relationship can be debilitating. Sometimes it is not our choice to end a relationship. When that choice is made for you by someone else it can be hard to fully let go of that relationship. However, you must remember that it takes two parties to make a relationship work. When one party ceases to work at it, regardless of what you do, the relationship is dead. A rotten piece of meat in the kitchen can make the whole house uncomfortable to be in. It is important to know when it is time to close the chapter on a relationship.
The fear of being alone and having no close relationships also makes it harder to let go of relationships that have run their course. Loneliness is a disease. There is no sugarcoating it. However, you can mitigate loneliness by learning how to be alone with yourself.
There are many things that you can do alone that can turn moments of loneliness into moments of solitude. Solitude occurs when you embrace the growth that can come from being alone. Loneliness occurs when you view being alone as a punishment. It is better to be alone than to have relationships that don’t add anything to our lives.
You should trust that relationships that leave your life are no longer there for a reason. Trust that just like a waterfall does not dry up when water evaporates from it, you will not be rendered useless by relationships you no longer have.
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Everything ends, and sometimes it starts to end as soon as it begins.
There are plenty of people and things out there that are good for you, but you won't find them - and they won't find you - if you insist on keeping what no longer works.
Thank you for this, Harun.
It truly is super hard when someone makes the choice to leave. It's harder when we're on the recieving end of it. But we do it too, we leave people. Sometimes naturally and other times because it's what is best according to us. Doesn't make it easy, you're right! 💯