Nobody Likes The Truth
No one wants to hear the truth all the time.
The truth will set you free.
I don’t think that’s fully true. There are many times when saying the full truth does you no good, rather it does you harm.
Try to recall when someone asked what you thought about their outfit. In some instances, you liked their outfit and told them the full truth. But without a doubt, there were times when you told them a partial truth. You told them you “loved it!” when you thought it was decent. Other times, someone asked you about their flaws and you couldn’t muster the courage to tell them all their flaws, you just reaffirmed the flaws they were already aware of and told them, “Nobody is perfect.”
You did this because when you had previously dared to be totally honest with someone, it didn’t turn out as expected. Rather than thanking you for your candour and pledging to work on these flaws, their face scrunched up as soon as you started highlighting flaws they weren’t aware of and even more when you became increasingly unsparing with your choice of words to describe these flaws.
No one wants to hear the truth all the time. No one wants the full truth all the time.
It would be wise to realise this sooner rather than later. It makes navigating the world much easier. You might think this is a deceptive way to live. But in truth, this is the only way to live. The people who make a habit of speaking the full truth all the time are rarely ever respected by others which minimises the impact they can have.
Relentless and unscathed honesty also limits the personal bonds you can forge. Some friends can’t help but point out things that would be best left unsaid. Whether it’s a remark about your new jacket, your physique or other aspects of your life, they always have some pressing truth they must express. What they say might be true but the only thing achieved by uttering it was offending you. These friends are never your first choice to have dinner with.
We must never exchange the truth for a lie. In doing so, we start to live in a false and dangerous reality. There are times when the bitter truth is the remedy we need, the only cure for our illness at the time. The truth is something we should be aware of and administer whenever it achieves a purpose. But when the truth does not achieve any meaningful purpose, we would be best served by leaving it in the medicine cabinet.
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When asked for an opinion, for example on an outfit, an option would be to find the one thing, no matter how small that would compliment it. The colour is lovely. I love that shade of blue. The detail in the collar is amazing.
Truth can be ambiguous because it has the power to liberate and empower, it can also make us feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. Interestingly, people tend to fall into two situations: those who shy away from the truth because it disrupts their comfort zone, and those who actively seek it out as a catalyst for growth and learning. I've found myself in situations where I'm asked for my honest opinion, and I always ask for clarification in their intentions: are they seeking truth for growth or comfort? I firmly believe that truth can be shared in a way that is both authentic and compassionate, by discerning the RIGHT WORDS AND TONE that come from a place of love and respect for the other person.
Love this essay Harun! Thank you! ❤️