No One Is Normal

Normality is an illusion.

Photo by Erick Butler on Unsplash

I have always had this insecurity about my communication skills. It’s a bit odd because sometimes I feel like I can communicate well with others. Other times I feel like I can’t hold an interesting conversation to save my life. I was always ultra-conscious of this insecurity, and I still am to an extent.

Walking past colleagues at former workplaces, I would be unsure whether to look at them and smile in greeting or just walk past them. Whichever one I chose never seemed to be the right answer. This would be exaggerated when I greeted someone and they ignored or didn’t see me. Or when someone would smile at me, and with me not expecting it, I wouldn’t hold eye contact for long enough to return their smile and by the time I was ready to return their greeting, they would have already walked past, potentially regretting why they even greeted me in the first place.

Now I know, this may have all been in my head. They may quickly have forgotten about any awkward encounters with me. Unlike me they may be normal and not harp on these things quite as much.

I used to find it hard to put these awkward moments behind me. They would make me think I wasn’t normal or just didn’t know how to communicate or behave in public. But as with many things in my life, I was wrong.

I once came across a colleague who I noticed didn’t communicate particularly well. They would regularly make jokes that no one found funny but carry on cracking them. They would say random things to start a conversation when it was clear everyone was in a state of deep work. I say this not to make fun of my colleague nor to imply my superiority to them in any way. I only use them as an example to state that no one is normal and observing them helped me to realise this.

We all have our quirks and are prone to the occasional gaffe. Some people, like myself, forget basic communication skills when we are in a new environment and around new people. Others do not have the slightest clue of what to do or say when someone is crying around them (I also happen to fall into this category as well).

Due to various factors throughout our lives, we are all unique. We see things differently from other people. So although we use the word normal quite a lot in our daily vocabulary, no one is truly normal. There is no such thing as normal (or maybe I am just abnormal and trying to convince you to join my team. Who knows?).

When you think that you are abnormal in how you communicate or eat or sleep, remember that everyone does every one of these things differently. And frankly, if you are considered normal, it often means there is nothing unique about you, or at least nothing that appears unique about you. But as I have said, everyone is unique in their own way so this is not true. You are just good at concealing your uniqueness.

Don’t weigh yourself down with the burden of being normal. Just do what you believe is right and is best for you. Normality is an illusion.

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